I Will Never Date a Black Man Again.

 “Why the world sleeping on black girls? Hey I don’t know, man.” ~Play the Guitar, B.o.B. ft.Andre 3000

Black men don’t know how to commit. Black men are playas. Black men don’t know how to communicate. Black men are lazy. Black men don’t know what they want.  So I’m done with them.

LIES! I will NOT give up on my Black men, but it seems like Black men are giving up on us. I mentioned a few stereotypes of Black men which are non-factual, but I feel like some Black men believe that ALL Black women are angry, difficult, bitter and controlling. These men are starting to look to other races for love and leave Black women alone all together.

I don’t discriminate against interracial relationships.  What I don’t like is someone saying they will NEVER date someone of their OWN race. That’s asinine.  I understand people have “preferences” but to blatantly say you prefer to date outside of your own race is showing that you don’t even love yourself. You’re basically saying your own race is not good enough…your own men/women are not good enough to date so why should you date them. So what do you really think about yourself?

I’m writing this because I had a discussion with someone on Facebook and the person said that his coworker, who is a Black man, will “never date Black women again, only White women because it’s less stress, they’re easy to communicate with,don’t give you a hard time,affectionate and not just with sexual things.And she will at least offer to pay for the check”…sigh. I KNOW plenty of BLACK women who don’t cause stress, easy to communicate with, don’t give their guy a hard time, affectionate and not just with sexual things, and will offer to pay for the check from time to time. But this list is a little twisted. Seems like this particular guy is looking for someone who will do for him, but what about the woman. What happened to wanting a woman of substance? A woman worth your time and love? A spiritually/emotionally/mentally stable woman? Does that not matter anymore? There are PLENTY of good Black women. So brothas, be patient. Because Black women are definitely, patiently waiting for you.

Honestly, people are different. So everyone can seem difficult. We never totally know someone’s thoughts, wants or desires. I wish people would stop stereotyping. EVERY Black woman isn’t the same. EVERY person of ANY race is not the same.  Don’t generalize. Don’t stereotype. See everyone as an individual before you pass judgement.

“Tell me how you’d feel if i was gone…no mama, no daughter, no sista friends. Tell me my brotha, what will become of you then? what if, POOF, every Black female in the world disappeared? Your beautiful brown would be forever gone with no more cocoa wombs to carry your brown on. You right there would be the last of your kind..cuz if there was no me. there’d be no YOU. tell me how you’d feel,  if I was gone.” How It Make You Feel, by Jill Scott

~Ashley Caprice

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3 responses »

  1. I doubt that skin color has to do with anything. There are simply some good men and some bad ones and they are of all different colors !

    Reply
  2. Of course, I enjoyed Jill’s lyrics! lol However, I feel you hit it right on the nose. It’s all a stereotype that is becoming more popular to use because some of us are getting laid back in our relationships and do not feel we need to put forth much effort. I get offended when black men say “there is NOT any ‘good’ black women”. I have a lot of love for them, and it’s my love for them that keeps me attached with a forgiving attitude for those hurtful words. So, I refuse to believe there aren’t any “good”, decent, educated, strong, ambitious, honest, black women loving, compromising, and God-like BLACK men around. Just like there are plenty of “good” women, they’re around! I’m expecting to meet one really soon! 😉 ~Pernisha G.

    Reply
  3. Interesting Topic! The guy I’m dating … answered somethings for me about why men cheat, why they date outside their race etc. He had some interesting things to say! Oh yea, hes black. He mentioned that its of male nature to want to be the provider, to want to feel like they have a place; men want to feel needed, like their constantly working for something (his opinion). Unfortunately, spiritual, smart, business minded black women who are independent and know that they want a man who will fit that criteria are not the majority. I am a black women and I see more of my peers claiming to be ratchet vs. intellectual..I think there are plenty of black men who desire a relationship with any woman that can challenge them to be better.. but women have a lot of work to do. I think we should all take accountability. Everyone “prefers” a certain type. But I don’t believe anything is set in stone.I know men who only date outside their race and it fails every time! Hes with someone new all the time.. so what glitters isn’t always gold.. For now, I think its up to black women to encourage more black women positively.. so the perception of us improves.

    What black men think about black women is not based on the minority of us but the majority of us! Which is sad to admit but moreso what we should explore that needs CHANGE.

    Reply

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