People get in relationships, fall in love, fall out of love, but stay in the relationship. I’ve noticed that some people tend to stay in relationships far longer than they should. Someone could continuously get mistreated, but for some reason…you can’t let go.
It’s normal to hold on to a relationship a little longer than you should. There’s something called feelings…love…attachment…and of course the “one day things will get better” mentality. I get it. But when you invest more time into the wrong relationship, you waste valuable time that could have gone into the right partnership.
A friend recently vented to me about her relationship and I told her, “You deserve better, and you should let him go…but only when you want to let him go.” She appreciated my advice and said I was the first friend to tell her that. Most people just told her to leave him. I agree with them, but from experience, I realized that letting go is easier when you are genuinely ready to move on. I know I’ve been in some “let it go” situations with a couple guys, but I only found it easier to “let go” when it happened on my own terms, not when someone suggested I do so…Because I would find myself back in the same situation with the same guy.
We all have a breaking point, so you’ll know when you’re fed up. So let go…when you want to. But remember, you can’t get that time back.
“If he ain’t gonna love you the way he should … Then let it go. If he ain’t gonna treat you the way he should …Then let it go” Keyshia Cole
My work with couples has shown me that the moment of “letting go” is determined by a person’s level of tolerance for being miserable. Unfortunately, some people have a high tolerance for being miserable, perhaps because they grew up in an environment where misery was commonplace.
It’s not fair to sit in judgment on someone else who hasn’t “let go” when we think they should. It has to make sense to them before they can take that step.
Exactly! Everyone has their breaking point. No one can force a person to end a relationship if they’re not ready to let go.
I agree with u. You made some great points but I see alot ppl who give up too easy, choose the wrong partners, or not willing to put in the work. I think if love is there on both sides and they willing to stay commited to gether no matter how hard it get that they should stay. Ofcourse, for the ppl who get into a relationship with the wrong person need to be alone and self reflect on what they wants, needs as well as correcting themselves in order to have a good judge of character the next time. I just find alot of single ppl telling others in relationship to leave him or her not takin in account that theres two sides, two story, and only those two know how the relationship is. Most ppl dont talk to ppl abt all the good things or when its goin good but will vent their dislikes, issues to others when its not goin there way instead of self reflecting and tryin to there part in the problrm or issue. There was a time when my relationship was goin bad and I was ventin to a friend who told me to leave and altho I didnt atthe time the issues got worse. The smart thing I should have did was vent to partner and took time out the relationship so he can self reflect as well on what he wanted and he part of the problem. Instead I stop caring even tho I loved him and end up cheating on me. Thankfully we got over all the mess I made and solved the problems in our relationships but I realized alot abt myself. I was hangin out with my single friend and started to act as if I was. I neva realized the influence she had. Now im not blaming her cuz it was my choice but when it came to my mentality she contributed by tellin me to leave him or askin me to go out clubbing alot when usually im a homebody. im happy in my relationship again, we both are but if he wouldve listened to others or would have let go even tho he loved me then we never be who we are and where we are today n vice versa. The funny thing is when ppl ask me for my opinion on there relationship I always point out that I only know wat u tell me and I neva tell them u should leave or stay. I just point a certain aspects and have them question themselves and their partner actions. Unless they gettin hit or sumthing then that be obvious but I realize the best relationship advice u can get is from urself, self reflecting. It takes hard work to heal a relationship and takes time to correct all the problems that yah both create in it…. Also I realized ppl are not right in the mind to choose a good partner and for them I agree with ur view cuz theres alot of ppl who need to be tryin to improve themselves before they get into a relationship. Most already have alot of extra baggage from other relationships of all kinds like family n friends. There are alot of ppl who shouldnt be in a relationship at all but if ppl are in a relationship they need to realize that no one perfect and that as partners u grow together. I been in my relationship for 8yrs now and thats what I learned.
Love that line: “The best relationship advice u can get is from urself, self reflecting”… so true. And you’re right. A lot of people vent about the negative and never share anything positive, so friends and family members would of course suggest the obvious which is to “let go.” But I’m the same way in that I never tell people to just leave. I could let them know what I see as an outsider looking in, but that’s all. Ultimately, people do what they want to do.