Traditional Girl in Modern-Day World

This describes MY “perfect date”….Meet guy. Guy calls to schedule date. Guy arrives to house on time. Guy walks to door. Guy opens car door for me. Guy makes me laugh; we engage in interesting conversation. Guy pays for date.  Guy walks me to my door after date. Guy calls/text when he gets home to let me know he made it home safely and that he enjoyed the date. BAM! Is that hard? I can only recall this happening with TWO guys though, sigh.

Maybe I’m just a traditional girl living in a modern-day world. I was taught that was how a guy should act on a first date…or any date for that matter. But somewhere down the line, things started to…change.

Nowadays, guys text….ALL. THE. TIME. Even to schedule a date. “So you wana kick it/chill/hang out this weekend?”…Errrrr?! Speaking of, What is “kick it.” Anywho, then some guys honk (no lie), or text when they’re outside. WHO HONKS THE HORN WHEN THEY ARRIVE TO SOMEONE’S HOUSE?! ESPECIALLY ON A DATE!  Rude. Stop doing that fellas! And what woman responds to that madness?  I did once when I was younger. Stop doing that ladies!

Chivalry is NOT dead. There are guys who still have manners and treat women with respect. I’ll admit there was a time when I jacked up chivalry a little bit. I don’t know what got into me but I guess I wanted to play Ms. I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T like Webbie suggested or something. I would say “I can open my own doors.” WTH?!…”I’ll pay my half.” WTH?!…*Responds to honk* “Alright, I’m coming outside now” WTH?! But I’ve grown up.

I’ve decided to create a list of Dating Do/Don’ts. Feel free to add to the list:

  1. CALL to schedule a date. Don’t text, bbm, e-mail, aim, facebook, myspace, tweet, linkedin, Google chat, Skype, yahoo messenger…don’t do that. Pick up the phone and call.
  2. If you’re NOT comfortable with the person you’re going on a date with, then MEET them at the destination.
  3. If you ARE comfortable with the person you’re going on a date with, then fellas, PICK the lady up from her place and arrive ON TIME. We might take a few minutes to come outside (hey, we have to shower, shave, moisturize, look for an outfit, look for jewelry, do hair, do nails, apply make-up, so don’t complain)…bare with us.
  4. Fellas, open the door for your date. Ladies, don’t reach for the door handle like “No, I GOT this!” Relax, step back or to the side and let a man be a man.
  5. DON’T pull your cell phone out during the date. That’s rude and disrespectful. If someone is spending their precious time with YOU…then they deserve YOUR full attention. A date will not last 24 hours (or maybe it will ya lil’ nasty)…but since a date doesn’t usually take all day, then wait to call/text/e-mail someone back when you’re NOT on the date.
  6. I’d suggest going to a public place. NOT the movies. First, it’s typical. Second, you can’t talk to someone in the theater (unless you’re just rude like that.) Not a good place to learn more about someone.
  7. While on date, always be polite, courteous, respectful…laugh, have fun (no matter if the date is good or bad), and always BE YOURSELF!
  8. Compliment your date. Don’t overdo it though. A few compliments is good enough.
  9. Don’t talk about your ex. Period.
  10. Don’t talk so much about yourself. Ask questions. Listen.
  11. Always smile
  12. Fellas pay for the date. Yep I said it. This is an ongoing debate. I used to “go dutch” (pay my half) until I was told I should be treated like a Queen. So now I’ll offer to pay after a few dates. Guys love this. You heard Ne-Yo…He likes when a woman says, “It’s cool, I Got it” sometimes. But on a FIRST date, nah. Ladies, if you want, offer to pay the tip or valet. Small, but good gesture.
  13. Make sure your date is home safe and have a quick “I had a great time tonight” convo…only if that’s how you honestly feel. Nothing major. Just short and sweet.

My grandpa says, “Whatever you start [or allow] in the beginning of a relationship is what you have to continue during the relationship if you want it to last.” So if you don’t like any of the behavior above then don’t tolerate any of it when first meeting someone. Nip that ish in the bud.

~Ashley Caprice

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4 responses »

  1. i agree 100% ash!, just gotta find a lady thats worth all that. Im not going to shy away from what i believe. THE MORE U ACT LIKE A LADY, THE MORE I ACT LIKE A GENTLEMAN!

    Reply
  2. I agree that a LADY should not pay for the first few dates. After a few dates, I will offer to pay and if he doesn’t let me, I will at least pay the tip. I consider myself an independent woman, but a man needs to be a man, so in the beginning he needs to prove that.
    As for texting, this is 2011! I barely talk on the phone anymore, so I have no problem getting a text from a guy. But when it’s time for the date, you need to come to my door and get me. After we been together for a while, I will accept the “I’m outside” text.

    I like the blog, it had me laughing at work.

    Reply
  3. Cynthia Thompson (Mom)

    Girl, you are BEAUTIFUL no matter how you wear your hair and at all ages! Smart, classy, a bit sassy too, I’ve seen you dance, I know you joke, you keep it real, and you don’t smoke! You are spirit filled and reliable, some young man will be lucky once he proves to be desirable. I’ll be sure to keep checking your blog!
    Love, Mom

    Reply
  4. Pingback: Let A Man be A Man, Part 1. | Ashley Caprice

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