I need a man. To make me smile. To make me happy. To complete me.

Pause. No you don’t.

If those are your thoughts then please read on.

Last year I watched Basketball Non-Wives and viewers were talking about Royce and how she had a new boyfriend every season of the show. She argued that she’s a “relationship” girl so she doesn’t just date to date. If she likes a guy she expects to begin a relationship with that person.  I think some women meet a nice guy and just rush into a relationship with the man instead of DATING him and understanding what they’re getting into before taking things further.

It’s OKAY TO JUST….DATE! I understand you’re supposed to “Date to Marry”- meaning you should see the person you’re dating as someone you could eventually see yourself with forever. But sometimes it’s okay to just go out! Have fun! Enjoy your time with someone of the opposite sex without EXPECTING something in return.  If things work out and advance into a monogamous relationship then okay, and if not, that should be okay, too!

Take your time. If a relationship is meant to be…it will be.

I think some women…and some men are afraid of being alone.  They will tolerate cheating, abuse, lies, betrayal, drama, and more just to say “I’m in a relationship.” There are some people who make their relationship official and rush to Facebook to update their relationship status to “In a Relationship.” Slow down.

Take your time. Don’t force a relationship that doesn’t feel right just to say you’re with someone.

When you look to someone else for YOUR happiness you tend to enjoy only the things that make THEM happy. Their interests become YOUR interests. Stop that! Find yourself. And with finding yourself, you have to learn to be by yourself. That’s the time you learn your wants, desires and needs. Remember, a man should complement you, NOT complete you. Being NEEDY and/or DESPERATE is NOT cute! You should feel totally fine as a single person or when you’re in a relationship.

Being alone doesn’t mean you’re “lonely.” Learn to enjoy your own company. If you’re not happy by yourself, you won’t be completely happy with anyone else. You can NOT always depend on others for YOUR happiness. What would happen if you break up with your partner? Your happiness is gone. So learn to find happiness within yourself. It’s there. Right inside of you. It’s okay to be happy…alone. 

“All my life,  I’ve been looking for somebody else to make me whole. But I had to learn the hard way…True love began with me. This is not ego or vanity. Sometimes I’m alone but never lonely” ~ Private Party, India Arie

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